The blue ceiling scattered with white cottons,
The bright ball of fire gave an everlasting beam,
Bright green paint wasted on the ground,
The sweet voice that reaches out…..

How can I compare that world of yours with mine?
For the dark ceiling without a single light
The eternal darkness that stole my smiles……….

Singing to the darkness….
Only I could hear my own voice.
The voice that only gives an echo… back to me

Perhaps today …..is not the time for a poem.

Well……i was wondering… when you are doing things…. are you doing it for yourself or for others? When a lady wants to go on a diet, would she do it for her own beauty or to let someone see her beauty? If a student wants to earn good grades, is it for herself or the expectations that people gave to her? When 手越 sings….did he sing for himself…… or sing for someone to hear his voice? When i write… am I writing for my own pleasure…. or for him….or for anyone to hear my voice?……

Doing things for oneself….. for other…. can we distinguish it? If you loved a person so much but you lost her to another person, do you wish her happiness, or try to win her back? Winning her back for your own happiness, or for her happiness?

My writings would not have even be written or even published if there was no reason for me to write for. Of course, I need to keep on finding inspirations to let my creativity flow gracefully. But the sad thing is…..the person whom I am dedicating to would never knew the existence of this writings. Demo….daijoubu desu….

我只能永远写那些字。。。even though I know…..those words does not reach you.

That little voice that has been lost
Came back from a long break.
Hardly have I heard that since….
Resurrecting from the Land of the dead,
Back to destroy my personality.
it whispers, its mind….darker than Hades’ crow
Breaking through my every laughters….

Sending it back, won’t be too easy….
Been the strength at my weakest tide..,
Surival of the fittest…..I’m far too weak,
If I am not here anymore……My smiles were all gone
I hope some memories of happiness still remain…
Or perhaps beg for the window to let in the sunlight…
To at least…..lie to myself of the freedom…I had.

************************************************************

Today,I want to pull out one of my sonnet collections from the past.
Yes. From my past. Thanks god i didn’t burn them!

Anyway….Let me present you.

Sonnet XV I could never find a perfect feather,
Each feather has its own imperfection,
I had traveled far to seek out further,
But still, I don’t have a destination.
A feather flew pass to stay here with me,
Even it is far from being perfect,
Those imperfections, my eyes clearly see,
But I don’t have that deficiencies detect.
Yet, I’ll cherish this feather forever,
Perfect or not, I see, I am not blind,
Don’t wash my blindness in Jordan River,
Everything is vivid, but love doesn’t mind.
This imperfect feather has shot a dart,
Deep, stabbing right here, through my lonely heart.

**Why did i put this up? Cause it is the sonnet that means most to me. I wrote loads of others, but none can compete with this one!

In this world, you can find 6 connections to everyone in this globe.
Of course, you need to be sociable to do that!
And for me, I have a 2 connections to ___, shoot. if i were to reveal,
someone who actually know who i am. so anyway, i have connection to him!

Fading

A light that i could not reach out for….
A brightness I can’t compare….
A dream impossible to reach out for…

Visions for the future fades away,
Roads ahead could hardly be seen..
Cold, Misty, filled with sorrow….surrounds me….

The grim knocks at my door,
Happiness are yet so far away…
Reaching out for a goal that seems so impossible…

* 我想我还要put more effort in my writings ……

Darkness has always been my sanctuary…
The voice that speaks back to me..has always been mine
The light that I lit, failed to shine…
A trapped soul with a voice…that no one hears

I want to be a light that shines myself through the dark….
I want to be a voice that everyone appreciates….
Someone to save this lost soul…
To bring back the sun for tomorrow…..

我难过的时候。。谁在我身边？

．．．在心里等待了很久

还要多久你才可以明白？

Falling with every step I took,
Regretting with every pace I  take
Blamed for every move I make…
………………………………………………….

If I could choose…I would not stay
I would embrace the freedom of the doves
Travel free like a wandering cloud
My sign calls out for me, yet there was no reply.

Just like a plant, I stood there…
Without the wind, motionless..I remain
Would there be a day, i get blown away?
To a place far away……where i can never be found?

Weak, fragile…..helpless…..I realized
Like a broken melody that fails to be heard
The broken string needs to be repaired
A voice that breaks through the distance.

If i break through the light….
Is there darkness….Is there brightness?
For I would not know at all….
I shall take a chance….to pick a path.. where I could really be there…
Where my dreams lies.